


A Visit With Grandpa Zach

by EndbossEmpress



Category: Original Work
Genre: Deities, Magic, Necromancy, Undead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-17 14:10:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17561918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EndbossEmpress/pseuds/EndbossEmpress
Summary: Nicholas, Lord of Death and all around Important Guy, makes his monthly visit to his great great great (and so on) grandfather Zachariah.Of course, grandpa Zach's a zombie, the chosen representative of a giant, evil Artificial God of Undeath, and Nicholas is only there to make sure neither of them escape an ancient magical prison, but why get caught up in the little details?





	A Visit With Grandpa Zach

Nicholas hated this time of the month. Absolutely hated it. He trudged down to the basement with the sort of resigned frustration someone would use for any particularly stressful chore… which, he supposed, was an accurate-if-pithy term for having to refresh the powerful wards on a God of Death you had locked in your basement…

 

Artificial. Artificial God of Death, he corrected himself. Slips like that were how things started getting into your head, if you weren’t careful.

 

Striding past the various undead and constructed servants he had guarding the area, each successive group more powerful and lethal than the last, he took a deep breath and tried to focus. Everything would be fine. Nothing could hurt him unless he let it. Just keeping one of the most powerful enemies of mankind locked up tight. No pressure, he’d done this a million times!

 

The Reliquary Golems on either side of the final entrance nodded grimly to their master, each one slowly swinging open one of the massive iron doors on either side, revealing the sealed form of Pluto, Artificial God of Death...

 

“Nicholas, babe, so good to see ya! The end of the month already?”

 

...and his chosen Speaker, who was already prepared to ruin Nicholas’ day, it seemed.

 

“Hello, Zachariah.” The evoker replied, not even trying to hide his resigned sigh. “And yes, it IS time for me to refresh the enchantments my ancestors placed upon Pluto, ensuring that both you and the affront to all things good that you call a patron deity will be stuck here until the day you die.”

 

Zachariah bore a stunning resemblance to Nicholas, really. They were both dogs, both rather toned for life-long magicians, possessed of long hair and sharp teeth. Considering Zachariah had once been Nicholas’ distant ancestor, this made sense. But Zachariah had also been dead for quite some time before his rebirth into undeath, and he had the pale countenance and oddly empty eyes to prove it.

 

“Haha, oh man, that one gets funnier eeeeevery time you say it, kid.” the undead replied, getting comfortable on the bare, sigil-carved stone he was restricted to. When you were dead, even a warding circle the size of a soccer field could be the height of comfort. “Because it seems to me like we’re still alive and well! Me and the big guy up there…”

 

The “big guy” in question was Pluto’s actual body. Resembling nothing more than a massive orb of sleek, unknown metals and alloys, etched with sigils in an unknown language and possessed of an unknown purpose. Panels fallen away to reveal pulsing muscle and flesh, clear tubes and vials filling with and emptying sickly looking chemicals and fluids. “He’s beginning to wonder if maybe you’re just keeping us here for the conversation!”

 

Nicholas sneered a bit and began to examine the boundaries of the Warding Circle. The sigils and patterns and enchantments that made it up were delicate and foolproof, but containing such a powerful entity meant they were always slowly decaying. Technically, they’d last the better part of a year before experiencing any loss of efficiency, but it was best to deal with such decay quickly.

 

“Oh, yeah, I have nothing I like doing more.” he replied, already finding weak points that needed shoring up. “Hearing you talk about how happy we’d all be if you killed us, or creeping on my girlfriend, or trying to tell me you buried a mellified man centuries ago and all I need to do is enter the Warding Circle to dig it up…”

 

“I actually did! I’m not actually expecting you to come and get it anymore, but I thought it was worth a shot.”

 

“Shut up.” he stood, glaring daggers at the walking, talking corpse he was forced to deal with every month. “My point being, if I could kill you right now, I would. You and that freak are a blight upon this world. It and all the other freaks like it that kept showing up on this planet’s doorstep!!!”

 

Zachariah raised his hands as if trying to ward off conflict, though the smug little grin on his muzzle suggested he was having the time of his life. “Woah now, cool your jets! You and I both know you’re just gonna be waiting out the clock. You gotta create lives until you replace alllllll the aliens my boss killed on his way here.”

 

“We prefer to call them Distant Benefactors.”

 

“Whatever, bro. You can get all aggro on me and shout threats and hit me with lightning… which, by the way, still not cool that you did that… all you like. But you’re stuck with me.”

 

Nicholas didn’t answer. This, too, had been one of the frequent conversations they had. The canine wizard continued examining the wards, shoring up depleted magic as necessary, the crystal ball that served as his focus glowing with the effort.

 

“Yup! You ‘n’ me! BFFs! Until the day your sad little body keels over and one of your siblings’ brats steps over it to take your place. It’s been that way for as long as I can remember!”

 

Nicholas’ grip on his focus tightened slightly. Pluto hummed ominously in the air as Zachariah continued on, taking advantage of his jailor’s currently inability to talk back while he worked his magic.

 

“The big guy’s askin’ about your dad, yknow. Oh, the temper on that one! He must’ve gone through ten of us Speakers before he bit the dust. Whenever we got too loud, he’d blow us right to bits! What a guy.”

 

Nicholas’ scowl deepened. His concentration began to waver.

 

“And of course, when Pluto picked a new one, it’d always be one of the dead schmucks you have running around this little haunted mansion. Loooots of bad times for all of you there…” he sounded rather pleased with himself, despite having nothing to do with any of that. He’d been captured long before he could cause any real trouble. “Especially for your mom, am I ri--”

 

Zachariah was suddenly rather displeased to find his mouth had been literally frozen shut, a thick sheet of ice forming over his entire muzzle like… well, a muzzle. Nicholas’ focus hovered in the air in front of him as he focused on both maintaining the magical ice and finalizing his work on the magical wards. “You know, if you want me to smite you off the face of the planet, you may try not leading in with a story about the man who got his loved ones killed by smiting Speakers off the face of the planet.”

 

The speaker crossed his arms and gave a muffled huff of frustration, sitting down on the ground rather akin to a scolded child. Nicholas continued unabated. “Really, I must commend you for finally thinking to play that particular card, but if you Speakers knew how to be subtle for five seconds it may have worked better. You may as well have held up a nice, big ‘This is a ploy to get you to destroy me’ sign while you were at it!”

 

Zachariah glowered at him mutinously, realizing he’d been foiled this time. Sure, Nicholas would be exhausted from maintaining two spells at once, but the wards would be refreshed and he remained un-alive.

 

With a final pulse of purple light, it was done. The evoker smirked, dispelling the ice spell and taking hold of his focus. “Don’t be a stranger, Zach. Maybe if you’re good I’ll pretend to consider digging up that mellified man next month.” And oh, did it make Nicholas feel good to realize he’d out-sassed the Artificial God, just this once. Turning on his heel before they could mount a proper response, he left the chamber with a spring in his step and renewed willpower.

 

With nothing else to do, alone in the darkness, Zachariah sat and thought. No man was impossible to break. And soon enough, he’d figure out a way to break his jailor...


End file.
